I turned 29 a few days ago. One last glorious year in my 20s. The kids have been sick on and off. I signed up for The Color Run in D.C. I will make it across the line if I drag myself.
I am trying to read more. I need to craft, but just haven’t had time. I am also looking at going home to visit. My first real trip home where I won’t see Natalie. I’m sure it all will be emotional. But I’m learning to get by.
I never thought I would be sitting here thinking of how to write this and what to say. Not you, not now…
In fact, I don’t know if I can fully form what I want to say right now. I will try to find somewhere to start and come back later to tell you more.
Two weeks have passed since I last spoke to one of my best friends. But the past two weeks is nothing compared to the eternity we all have to spend without her here.
There are few individuals who were so kind, loving, and devoted. She nagged me endlessly to start this blog. She said it is important to share myself and my children with everyone else. To use this as a way to chronicle my Couch to 5k efforts before we did the Color Run in October. She said I needed to take more pictures of the kids and of my craft projects. Her own blog was an inspiration for me to do so. Instead of giving this up, I am going to follow through.
Her husband has really be inspiring through this all to me. He reminded me that even if her body is not here, Natalie is still with us.
Since she is still here, I plan to keep my promise. I may not do it completely regularly, but I will share my experiences here, including those that remind me of her and her sweet Isabell. I hope that one day I get to meet that beautiful girl taken too soon and be reunited with her wonderful mother that understands me when so many others cannot.
“I can’t let you die without knowing you are loved. By so many, and so much.” ~ River Song
The Allergist. Not for me for once. The little boy has to go. He has been itching, snotty, coughing, etc. All while not having any infections. Top that off with a rampant sensitivity to Red#40 dye, which happens to be in EVERYTHING including white cake mix. Seriously don’t understand why we need red dye in cake mix if it isn’t red velvet.
Ultimately, I’m calm and grateful because maybe we will have answers. Boys tend to show allergies in a behavioral manner. Like I said, hopefully we will get some answers.
On the other hand, I feel like the worst mom in the world. I have been suffering from allergies, asthma, and eczema for years. Yes it is treatable and not terminal. But like any mom, you don’t want to see your kids suffer how you do. I want him to be perfect and healthy. I don’t want him to wake up in the middle of the night to the drowning feeling. I don’t want him to be on countless medications for years because of it.
I don’t know what I could have done to change it. I just know that at least he has me to look at when he questions “why?” Even if he doesn’t blame me, he can look with comfort. Comfort found in knowing that I feel the same way.
Mildly creepy episode of Doctor Who. Note to self: Must teach B to say this to one special friend 🙂
But in all seriousness, we spent the day at VMFA in Richmond checking out the Mummy Secrets of the Tomb exhibit. Overall, it was outstanding. The 3D video discussing the history of one of the main mummy was very interesting. This was B’s first movie outing. It was about 30 minutes long and he did spectacular. On top of that the angel fell asleep. But honestly who doesn’t when lulled by the wonderful voice of Picard? It must be just something that is passed down through generations of geeks. Or it could stem from hours of watching American Dad and Star Trek TNG.
Now that I have two kids and a fairly boring life, I think it is time to take blogging back up. I want to be able to vent, show off crafts and even log eventual blackmail on my children, especially the boy. For now, enjoy this teaser of what came in my mail today…
The husband will hate them 🙂